no news know knews

An amusing book to browse through is ‘The Best Nonrequired Reading’ editied by Dave Eggers.

In the 2006 version, one of the included readings is lifted from The Onion; a piece titled Best American Fake Headlines. Here are some of the featured fake headlines:

2. Doctor Unable to Hide His Excitement from Patient with Ultra-Rare Disease

3. Breathalyzer Big Hit at Cop Party

9. Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations with Snakistan

10. CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

11. Bush to Appoint Someone to Be in Charge of Country

19. ESPN Courts Female Viewers with “World’s Emotionally Strongest Man” Competition

21. 133 Dead at Delta Cancels Flight Midair

26. Study: Watching Fewer Than Four Hours of TV a Day Impairs Ability to Ridicule Pop Culture

28. 180 Trillion Leisure Hours Lost to Work in 2004

32. Cost of Living Now Outweighs Benefits

34. Scientology Losing Ground to New Fictionology

37. Bush Vows to Eliminate U.S. Dependence on Oil by 4920

38. Police Search of Backpack Yields Explosive Bestseller

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One Response to “no news know knews”

  1. Mimi Says:

    Bwahahahahhahaahha!

    Sometimes, though, I have to admit it’s hard to differentiate the Onion headlines from the real ones.

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