The past couple of days I have found sliced cheese wrappers on the floor next to my wife’s side of the bed. I mention this for a couple of reasons:
1)Individually wrapped processed American cheese slices are gross and hardly qualify as “cheese;” even though it may meet “the legal definition of cheese.”
2)How come this processed cheese is called American? Why don’t they name it after a fake country, like Narnia cheese?
3)This has occured on more than one occassion.
4) My wife says the wrappers must be from our three year old son who brings her slices of cheese to unwrap while she is on the computer. And then, according to her, he must be dropping the cheese wrapper on the floor as he walks away after she hands him both the cheese and the wrapper.
Point #4 would be an okay explanation, except for the fact:
1)That it has happened more than once.
2)That there was no wrapper on the floor last nite before we went to bed, and I discovered a wrapper on the floor this morning.
3)Processed cheese slices hardly qualify for the priviledge to be called “cheese.” (Yeah, I have an issue with processed cheese. Don’t even get me started about bologna.)
Now don’t get my wrong, I adore my dear wife… but this whole mystery must be solved.
My theory- My dear wife might be a closet processed-fakecheese eater and doesn’t even know it… kinda like those zombie people, who don’t know that they are zombies.
Let the investigation begin!