It has been just over two months since my Dad died. I did not know that losing a parent can hurt so much.
Many years ago I worked for a local Episcopal Church.
It was a Sunday afternoon and I was working in the office. I noticed a man at the front door and so I went to let him in.
He asked if he could go inside of the church. I told him “yes” and let him go inside by himself.
When he came out he shared that he and his wife had been married in this church. He then went on to tell me that his wife had died a couple of years prior. And then he said something to me… “They say it will get better” he told me refering to life after his wife’s death, “it doesn’t get better; it just gets different.”
I never forgot those words.
In my current job, working in a prison, when various events/things happen we refer to the “new normal” that occurs sometime afterwards. In other words, after a major event things don’t go back to just like they were before the event; but rather we get a new way that things go and this becomes our new normal.
The loss of a loved one is like that, moving from what we knew before into what is now the new normal. It is not the same, it is just different.
I am still on my journey towards getting there.