new normal

It has been just over two months since my Dad died. I did not know that losing a parent can hurt so much.

Many years ago I worked for a local Episcopal Church.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was working in the office. I noticed a man at the front door and so I went to let him in.

He asked if he could go inside of the church. I told him “yes” and let him go inside by himself.

When he came out he shared that he and his wife had been married in this church. He then went on to tell me that his wife had died a couple of years prior. And then he said something to me… “They say it will get better” he told me refering to life after his wife’s death, “it doesn’t get better; it just gets different.”

I never forgot those words.

In my current job, working in a prison, when various events/things happen we refer to the “new normal” that occurs sometime afterwards. In other words, after a major event things don’t go back to just like they were before the event; but rather we get a new way that things go and this becomes our new normal.

The loss of a loved one is like that, moving from what we knew before into what is now the new normal. It is not the same, it is just different.

I am still on my journey towards getting there.


9 Responses to “new normal”

  1. mimima Says:

    Hugs and prayers continue. I don’t think you ever get to “normal” just different. May his Memory be Eternal.

  2. elizabeth Says:

    Lord have mercy on you and your family.

  3. Laura Nee Says:

    God bless you. I’m sure it’s one of those things that you don’t ever get “over.” Maybe you just get through it…

  4. Athanasia Says:

    Yes. It has been 25 years. It still isn’t “better” but it is “different.”

    Memory eternal!

    May God comfort you!

  5. libbie Says:

    I think about you and your family always. I hope that you find yourself in your “new normal” happy and with peace. Your father raised an amazing son, he must have been amazing himself.

  6. Rika Says:

    It sucks, is what it is. I miss my dad for all the stupid little things that happened everyday, such as all those really bad jokes that I won’t be hearing anymore. And hearing him call people dohheads (a somewhat acceptable curse in our family). Oh well.

  7. Spoke Says:

    I don’t see my mum often enough. 900+ miles makes it difficult…what with the Canadian Rockies between us…
    We chat on the phone sometimes. She has no computer.
    My dad is dead..10 years now. I can’t call my dad on the phone…and I miss him. I miss my mum too, it sometimes seems as though she too, is dead.
    Memories keep everyone alive!
    When it feels as though my mum is dead, or I simply miss her, I call…but I can’t call dad, ever again!

  8. John Says:

    All I can add is my understanding, my mom has been dead just over 14 months, my dad for 11 years. You do become accustomed to not seeing your loved ones, but the emptiness always lingers. I am sorry. Lord have mercy.

  9. Mike Says:

    …sorry, Herman. You’ll get there eventually and your dad will be there waiting to give you a hug.

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